How to Help Each Other Heal

Photo courtesy of the Help Me Heal Ministries Facebook page.

Healing should not be a solitary process.

Can you think of a time when you were healing from a difficult experience and managed to go through that process alone with no outside help? Whether it’s the prayers of others, financial or emotional support, or having a group of friends to find comfort in, we need each other to help us through the healing process.

Last week, I attended the Help Me Heal Conference in Springfield, Missouri, in which there were many lessons and sermons on the various aspects of healing, taking care of your physical and mental health, and dealing with different kinds of trauma. It’s an important annual conference that you should certainly attend if you’re in the greater Springfield area! We all have trauma in our lives and difficult circumstances that we’ve had to face. No one has experienced life without having to go through some kind of grief, loss, trauma, or physical or emotional issue, and we are all in need of healing.

Reverend Carlton Coon, who has authored many books one of which is titled Encountering Depression (which you should definitely check out!), spoke about healing and its connection to the members of the church on the first night of the conference. He explained that helping each other heal “is the ministry of the saints.” Indeed, as the body of Christ, we are to help each other along the healing process. None of us are scar-free, sadly, and we all have some healing to do.

So, why not help each other during this process? The church is meant to be a place where the hurting can go and find healing in the presence of God and comfort among the people of God. Often, we let our flesh and personalities get in the way of what the church is meant to be. Rather than help each other heal, we tend to tear each other down, criticize, or dismiss each other’s backgrounds and experiences altogether. Something I’ve become more aware of as I’ve gotten older and experienced more difficulties in life is that you simply may never know what someone else is dealing with or has gone through. Kindness and a smile can go a long way in helping comfort someone who is in need of healing.

How can we truly help each other heal?

1. Be mindful of the things you say to each other.

We’ve all been on both the receiving and the giving end of helpful “advice.” Sometimes, though the words may be well-intentioned, one’s “advice” to someone going through a difficult time can do more harm than good.

The following sayings are often used as advice to the hurting:

“Just move on.”

“Get over it.”

“It could be worse.”

The first two statements imply that healing is easily achieved by making a single decision, as though that decision is also easily made. There are things in my life that have caused my family and I to experience a great deal of emotional trauma, and to this day, we are in many ways not “over” it. How can one simply move on from loss? How can one simply get over a traumatic experience?

Healing is not simple, and we must rely on a close relationship with God to give us strength to navigate each day and each part of the process.

The third statement dismisses a person’s feelings and belittles his or her experiences as though they are not as bad as they seem, and this may be true. However, if someone is going through depression because they lost a loved one or a job, for example, telling them their situation could be worse may indicate to them that you are judging their reaction to their situation.

There is a right time to remind a person of the things they still have to be grateful for and a wrong time. If a woman suffers a miscarriage, it would not be wise to say, “Well, at least you’ve got another child. It could be worse.” But there may be a moment when this woman is ready and able to find comfort in her other children during the healing process.

This is why it is essential that we give careful thought to the impact our words may have on someone who is trying to heal.

2. Don’t underestimate the importance of your prayers for the hurting.

It is a great comfort to know people are praying for you and truly care for your emotional well being. When my grandmother passed away last year, although I was of course saddened from knowing that I would not see her again in this life, I remember feeling a sense of peace and comfort that I couldn’t explain. Somehow knowing that there were people out there praying for my family and I helped us heal.

It’s easy to say that you’re going to pray for someone and then never do it. You get busy, you forget, and maybe you later mention them in passing in your prayer time. But how much more impactful would your prayers be if you really spent time lifting up the name of someone in need of healing to God in prayer?

You may never know the comfort these words can bring to someone in pain: “I just want you to know that I am praying for you.”

When someone has ever said this to me, it reminds me that someone out there does care and that just maybe I’m not alone after all.

3. Don’t judge someone stuck in the healing process.

Everyone handles difficulties and different emotions, well, differently. Two people may go through the same experience and be in different stages of the healing process. Person A may have been able to accept the situation while Person B may still be angry about it. It wouldn’t be helpful or very understanding for Person A to say, “Why hasn’t Person B moved on yet? What’s wrong with her? I’ve moved on. Yesterday she was fine, and now she’s upset about it again. She needs to let it go.”

And then out come the unhelpful bits of “advice” that people tend to give.

Healing is not linear. It’s not a ladder but rather a circle, and you may go back and forth between anger to sadness to acceptance to denial to sadness to acceptance to anger over and over and over again. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing, and there is no easy solution.

It is true that you may never truly get over or move on from a loss or from trauma, as though all that is required to “move on” is the passage of time. We often expect that after a few years or so, a person should just magically be able to move on now.

“All right, Bob, it’s been four years since your wife died. You should be over it by now.”

Not exactly the right mindset when it comes to helping others heal or understanding how someone may struggle with healing. You’ve heard the saying, “Time helps heal all wounds,” and that is partially true. But I’ve found that time sometimes only gives a person distance between them and the moment of trauma, and all it takes for their scabbed over wound to bleed again is a memory or seeing someone tied to that situation again.

The passage of time does not guarantee healing.

We have the responsibility to help each other heal.

We can pray for one another, point others to The Healer, spend quality time with someone who is hurting, or give them needed space. And we must let them have time to heal.

We are all in need of healing, and it is God’s plan for His church to be the place where the hurting can find the healing that they need.

Will you stand in the gap for the hurting and be the person who helps others heal?

On the Potter’s Wheel: A Guest Post by Camrie Houck

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I roared down that road in that little red car.

“Jesus, why am I so broken?” I uttered as I felt as though I couldn’t be put together again. I felt like I was damaged beyond repair.

But Jesus.

As I sobbed, I felt God’s comfort wrap around me, and I heard him say, “Yes, you may be broken, but you’re in the best place you can be. You’re broken, but you’re in my hands.”

Just these past few weeks, I have been broken. While life spun along around me, I stayed in the hands of the Potter, the very best place to be. When it feels as if everything in life is breaking us down, when life feels as though it’s completely and totally spinning out of control, you very well may be on the Potter’s Wheel.

Rest assured, dear friend, that even on the Potter’s Wheel, you are still in the hands of Jesus. Perhaps sufferings come not as a thing meant to break us, but to reshape us.

Sometimes, things that we have picked up in life, calloused wounds, and attributes that we are not meant to have are broken off of the jar known as “us.” We often misinterpret the surgical knife in the hands of the most knowledgeable surgeon as a knife murderously held at our throats. We mistake what was meant to reshape us for something that will break us.

Sometimes, some things come so that the glory of God might be revealed. As 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of power may be of God and not of us.”

Moving on to verses 8-9, we read this:

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (KJV)

Rest in this, dear friend.

“Perhaps sufferings come not as a thing meant to break us, but to reshape us.

Camrie Houck

You may feel as though there is something wrong everywhere you look. You may be perplexed, persecuted, and cast down, BUT you are not destroyed, you are not in despair, you are not forsaken.

You ARE in the hands of the man who loves you the most. The God of the universe who desires to commune with us.

Remember, even in the breaking, even in the shaping, even on the Potter’s Wheel, you are in the hands of Jesus.

*****

From a young age, Camrie has loved to write. Starting a blog has been a long-time dream of hers, so she finally took the leap and started her blog, Camrie Writes, in September 2021. On any given day, you can find Camrie working on her first book, teaching, or talking with family and friends about teaching or writing. Camrie is also a full-time public school substitute teacher and is studying to teach middle school. Be sure to follow along with her blog on Facebook or Instagram (@camrie_writes)!

7 Things to Do at The End of Your Rope: A Guest Post by Jake Walden

We’ve all heard the expression, “I’m at the end of my rope.” And we all get to the end of our rope at some point. How do we get there? Life, usually. Things happen. We get tired, worn out, burnt out. Or maybe we do it to ourselves. We let ourselves slip to the end of our rope. No matter how we get there, the end of our rope is a place where we have nothing left. If we get any lower, there’s no more rope to hold on to.

The end of our rope is not final, however, and I’ll tell you why. Here are 7 things to remember at the end of your rope:

1. Don’t let go.

This is very important to remember. Letting go at the end of your rope is definitely not the answer. As the old saying goes, “When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on!”

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

Galatians 6:9 (KJV)

Don’t stop coming to church. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop fasting. Don’t stop giving. Don’t stop seeking the face of God. Tie a knot in the Word of God and hold on! Letting go is not the answer to your problems.

2. Don’t blame God.

Too often, when people are at the end of their rope, whether life got them there or they got themselves there, they start to blame God.

“Why did God let me get here? God must not care about me anymore. God must have more important people to help. He must not have His hand on me anymore.”

All are lies that we can begin to tell ourselves if we aren’t careful and don’t keep our hearts right. Job’s wife told Job to curse God and die when he was at the end of his rope, but he would not curse God. The Bible says that in all this Job did not sin with his lips. The Bible also says it rains on the just and the unjust.

God tells us, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11, KJV).

“Don’t stop seeking the face of God. Tie a knot in the Word of God and hold on!”

Jake Walden

3. Forgive yourself.

We’ve got to learn to forgive ourselves. We will get nowhere if we cannot forgive ourselves. Maybe you condemn yourself because your decisions got you to the end of your rope. Or maybe you cannot forgive yourself because you simply feel that you were not strong enough, and now you’ve ended up at the end of your rope.

Whatever the case, you’ve got to forgive yourself. You’ve got to realize who you are to God. You’ve got to realize that He will not hold your shortcomings against you, and you shouldn’t hold them against yourself.

His mercy endures forever. He loves you. And it is not wrong to love yourself enough to forgive yourself.

4. Let go of the past.

Even if you have forgiven yourself, you’ve still got to let go of the past. What has happened has happened. Sometimes, we have the opportunity to make amends, and that’s good. But you’ve still got to let it go.

Stop dwelling on what got you to the end of your rope. Stop losing sleep over it. Stop worrying about it. The only way to ever escape it is to let it go and move forward. You can’t change what has happened, but you can control what you will do next!

5. Surround yourself with Godly influences.

When you are at the end of your rope, don’t go to the people that are going to fill your mind with a bunch of mess.

Don’t go to someone like Job’s wife who will tell you to blame God. Don’t go to someone who is going to turn you on your brothers and sisters. Don’t go to someone who will gossip about and trash talk other people or gossip about and trash talk your church. Don’t go to someone who will tell you to let go of what you believe in. Don’t go to anyone who will tell you to lash out at people.

Don’t go to someone who will tell you to do ANYTHING that contradicts the Word of God.

Like the Bible says, don’t be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Surround yourself with Godly, positive influences—someone who will pray for you and with you, someone who will encourage you and lift you up. Like the Bible says, seek WISE counsel.

6. Trust God.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5 (KJV)

This is a very important step. Even when you don’t understand why you’re at the end of your rope, trust God. Like the Bible says, lean not unto thine own understanding. It also says right after that, “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:6, KJV).

God’s ways are higher than our ways. We do not know more than God. Sometimes, things happen, and we end up at the end of our rope, wondering, “Why am I here? This was not my intention.” But God knows right where you are, and He knows exactly what He’s doing. He isn’t punishing you. He won’t let us carry more than we can bear. Things just happen sometimes, and we end up at the end of our rope. But don’t ever stop trusting and believing that God has got you. 

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Romans 8:18 (KJV)

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.”

Psalms 121:1-3 (KJV)

Romans 8:28 says ALL things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to His purpose.

7. Bless the Lord at all times!

Job said, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21, KJV). One of the most important things you can always remember is to bless the Lord at ALL times.

David said, “I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Psalms 34:1, KJV).

When you’re at the end of your rope, don’t stop praising. Don’t stop worshipping. Don’t stop giving God the honor and the glory. There is power in that, and it gives us authority over the voice and influence of the enemy.

Don’t stop saying, “Blessed be the Name of the Lord!”

********

Jake Walden is a licensed minister with the United Pentecostal Church, the youth pastor at Restoration Apostolic Church in Winterville, Georgia, and the Section 3 youth director for the Georgia District Youth Ministries. He is also the host of the podcast What Was I Thinking? with Jake Walden in which he covers Biblical topics with an informal, easygoing demeanor. You can follow along with his ministry on Instagram (@jakewalden39). Be sure to check out his podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and subscribe today!

5 Things To Help You Overcome Depression

Mental Health Awareness Month takes place the entire month of May, and the theme this year is “You are not alone.”

For those who struggle with depression, overcoming it is not as simple as others might think.

There are those who might say, “Everyone gets depressed. Just get over it,” or, “If you really wanted to be happy, then you would be,” but they don’t realize that overcoming depression does not come so easily as simply wishing for it to happen. As someone who has struggled with forms of depression and who has many family members who have as well, I’ve seen and experienced the difficulty in trying to force yourself to “be happy” even though you feel sad, heartbroken, abandoned, and alone. It often results in burying emotions that need to be worked through and addressed only for them to rise again later and leave you more broken and shattered than before. Forced healing is not lasting healing.

Because May is mental health awareness month, I’ve decided to share with you and those who are struggling five things that have helped me in the process of overcoming feelings of depression. Of course, this post may not be entirely applicable to those who are suffering from severe or clinical depression. If you or someone you know is suffering from clinical depression, please know that there is no shame in reaching out for help, receiving support from a psychiatrist, or asking for prayer. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of because, yes, many people do suffer from various forms of depression and feelings of sadness to varying degrees.

“Forced healing is not lasting healing.”

Instead of trying to ignore or bury those feelings, here are five things you might try to help you begin the process of overcoming it:

1. Listen to music.

Now, some of these tips may seem basic, but just hear me out. When I’ve struggled with depression, almost every single time, I’ve managed to find comfort and feel God’s presence through new Gospel songs I found. One song in particular that spoke to me when I was struggling was “Defender” by Francesca Battistelli.

Listening to music, or music therapy, has proven calming effects that can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. When one listens to music, be it instrumental or soothing music, it can help that person experience his or her emotions on a deeper, more visceral level. It may even help clear the mind and make one’s emotions easier to understand.

Just any music doesn’t prove helpful to me, however, which is why I encourage listening to Christian music. As Christians, we understand that our help comes from God, but when we’re struggling with caring for our mental and emotional health, it sometimes becomes necessary to plug into other avenues that help us connect better to His presence. Don’t just listen to the music, but meditate on it. Find new songs that speak to what you’re going through and let yourself praise Him as you listen.

2. Listen to sermons.

We listen to messages over the pulpit every week, but sometimes, it helps to search for an extra word from God throughout the week when we’re feeling overwhelmed with sadness or anxiety. God can minister to us today even through an old message posted to YouTube five or more years ago. One such sermon that I heard when I was struggling and that I’ve returned to often is Victor Jackson’s message at General Conference 2019 called “The Forgotten Anointing.” For those who are weary and full of grief, this message may just be the word from God that will help you begin to heal.

Whether you search for sermons based on what you’re going through or by a preacher you’re familiar with, consider taking notes while listening to the sermon. Write down how God might be speaking to you through the message and ways you can apply it to your life moving forward.

3. Do focused Bible studying.

This one might seem like another no-brainer to those who study the Word consistently, but doing some focused Bible studying is a great way to work through what you’re experiencing by researching it in the Scriptures.

When I found myself in a dark place once, I realized the one thing that might help me get through it was if I could just feel the comfort of God again. So, I began doing a word search for “comfort” in my phone’s Bible app that contains the Strong’s Concordance. As I read verse after verse and studied the original Hebrew meanings of “comfort,” I immediately felt God’s presence. By the next morning, the heavy burden of grief and sorrow that had weighed me down had lifted immensely.

Doing some focused Bible studying on key terms or events in the Bible can help you understand the biblical approach to what you’re experiencing and will take you closer to the presence of God.

4. Get (and stay) involved in church.

It’s natural to want to take a step back from responsibilities at church or even not to want to attend a service or two when you’re struggling with depression, but it’s when you’re struggling that you need that foundation and consistency in your life the most.

Find new ways to get involved in ministry or new ways to use the gifts God has given you for His Kingdom. Go to every service. Continue worshipping God in the worship service and at the altar call. Attend special events or services. Keep in touch with your pastor and church family.

Although it may be difficult and you may feel at times as though you have to put on a smile and pretend you’re okay, the consistency of fellowshipping with the people of God and serving in His Kingdom is one of the most important steps in overcoming depression. The consistency and strong foundation that come with being involved in church bring much needed comfort and peace when you’re going through turbulent times or spiritually dry periods.

5. Do fun things.

Depression can make you feel as though you’re barely surviving and are unable to enjoy even the simplest parts of life, but don’t stop trying to find positive and uplifting things that can make you feel a little less sad for a little while.

Listen to music as we already explored above, or go out to breakfast or lunch with family or friends. Go for a walk at a park. Read a book. (If you need some reading inspiration, stay tuned for next week’s post when I’ll share some book ideas for your summer reading list!) Take a short trip on a day off and go to the lake or hiking or for a simple country drive. Write down your thoughts in a journal.

Whatever you do, do something that takes your mind off your stress and grief and pain if only for a moment and bask in that moment of relief. Every little moment of peace adds up, and eventually, you might find yourself going from feeling sad to being just okay to finally realizing that you are and can be happy in your life in spite of what you’ve gone through.

Overcoming depression is not an easy process and does not look the same for everyone. If you find yourself struggling harder with overcoming depression, try the above tips that have helped me.

Remember that our God is a God of peace. We can find the comfort we need in His presence and in the presence of our church family. Even though you may feel alone, you are not alone. You can overcome depression and be stronger than you were before.

“And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 (KJV)

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16 (KJV)

2 Truths and a Lie: Easter Edition

The cross at Calvary sits between the crosses of the two criminals crucified with Jesus.

Resurrection Sunday is less than one week away, and while we’ll be celebrating the resurrection of our King Jesus, there are still so many who will be celebrating Easter as a fun spring holiday about egg hunts and Easter bunnies.

Now, I love the fun aspects of Easter (like egg hunts, special chocolates, and picnics), but Easter is, of course, not about those things in the same way Christmas is not about receiving gifts or simply gathering with family.

It’s all about Jesus.

Sadly, there are many who forget that. There are many who fail to recognize the significance of this holiday, perhaps because they have fallen away from serving God or because no one has reached them with the truth. There are many forms of “truth” roaming around, especially around religious holidays, and there are many lies that distract people from focusing on the truth.

Today, we’ll focus on one lie that the enemy tells to keep people from finding Jesus and two truths that disprove this lie.

The lie: the days of New Testament miracles and spiritual gifts are over.

This is called cessationism, which is the belief “that spiritual gifts ceased after the closing of the biblical canon” (Apostolic Study Bible). Of course, we know this is a lie due to the truths below.

1. Jesus Christ is alive, and so are supernatural gifts and miracles!

Jesus Christ was crucified but rose again and reigns today. If He is alive, and His power still exists, then so do the miracles, signs, and wonders that all stem from His power.

Through the Holy Ghost, we have the power to reach the lost, tread on serpents, discern spirits, prophesy, and interpret tongues among many other things (see Acts 1:8, Luke 10:19, and 1 Corinthians 12). The fact that God’s people can pray for the sick and they be healed and that God’s people can rebuke spirits and perform other miracles is the evidence of Christ’s reigning power and presence.

Jesus is still performing New Testament miracles through His people, which brings us to the second truth.

2. Jesus Christ is still raising people from the dead.

Yes, that means both physically and spiritually. A person can suffer two deaths: physical and spiritual, but the spiritual takes place before the physical. While a physical death does not necessarily resign a person to eternal death (hell), a spiritual death can lead to eternal death if left untreated.

But our God does not abandon the weary, the broken, or the spiritually dead.

When I was struggling with the darkest depression I had ever experienced, I worried I was lost. I worried that there was no way out of that seemingly endless pit because I couldn’t see it. A mix of various emotions consumed me—grief, bitterness, despair, hopelessness. I found myself in a dry wilderness where there was no life and no peace.

But God breathed new life into me.

Through a series of sermons, He began to speak life into me again. After studying certain Scriptures, I began to feel His love and mercy again. After calling out to Him on several occasions, I began to get closer to Him than I had been before, and He brought me out of darkness into His light.

He renewed me. He resurrected me.

If He did it for me, He can do it for you.

Those are the truths we must remember, especially as we celebrate His Resurrection.

Jesus Christ is still on the throne.

He is still healing the sick.

He is still mending broken souls.

He is still saving the lost.

He is still reviving the dead.

He is still moving, and He is not done.

For our God is alive!

Happy Easter, everyone! Thank God for His blood that He shed to cover our sins and give us the chance at eternal life with Him!

I pray you all have a wonderful time celebrating our risen King this Resurrection Sunday!

“And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said….”

Matthew 28:5-6a (KJV)

5 Encouraging Songs for When You’re Struggling with Depression

Depression is something with which many of us are far too familiar in our world today. The lockdowns, financial issues, COVID restrictions, and loss of friends and loved ones during 2020 have left many still struggling with grief and anguish. Now, depression is not something of which we should be ashamed. It is a daily mental struggle, after all, and we all wrestle against our own mind and flesh every day.

Emotional ups and downs are exhausting on a physical and spiritual level, and while I tend to be a private person, even I have moments in which I struggle with keeping my head above emotional waters. In those moments, however, I have found that there is one thing in particular that helps pull me above the water and enter into the presence of God—music. Not just any music, but it’s the anointed songs of those who use their gifts for God to glorify Him and bless others that help me find strength in God.

If you’re struggling with depression right now and with trying to feel His presence and peace, here are five songs I discovered in those low moments that have blessed me. I return to them often and hope they bless you.

1. Defender by Francesca Battistelli

This song speaks of how God’s ways, though we may not understand them, are higher and so much better than ours. He goes before us and fights our battles, and all we have to do is praise Him. “Defender” beautifully reminds us that even when we feel we’ve lost ourselves, God knows exactly where we are, picks up our broken hearts, and puts us back together with His love.

2. Never Let Go by IBC

One of Indiana Bible College Choir’s songs from their powerful 2020 album “Victory,” “Never Let Go” describes the immeasurable depth of God’s love and saving grace and is an encouraging reminder of how He will never let us go.

3. Perfect Love by Lakewood Music

God’s love is perfect, breaking every stronghold and overcoming fear, and this beautiful song perfectly reminds us of this truth.

4. The Isaiah Song by Urshan College Choir

There have been many moments when in the wilderness, I’ve felt dry spiritually, desperately needing to simply feel His presence again. This song describes how God makes a way for us in the wilderness, and it’s a great way to usher in the presence of God and bring you to a place where you can receive water for your thirsty soul.

5. This Dwelling Place by Urshan College Choir

“This Dwelling Place” describes the essence of the presence of God and is a song to which I listen often when I want to enter into His presence, simply worship Him, and bask in His love.

If you find yourself in an emotional or spiritual struggle right now, I encourage you to listen to one or more of these songs and take a moment before prayer to worship the Lord. I hope that perhaps even one of these songs can bless you in a moment of grief and emotional turmoil, bringing you closer to God and to a place of peace and healing.