Dealing with Loss – Breathe. Pray. Repeat.

Navigating a Season of Depression

Depression.

We’ve all been there. Whether we’ve lost a loved one or suffered another kind of loss or setback, most of us know what it is like to struggle with feelings of depression. But depression affects us all differently and to varying degrees.

I’ve been reading Rev. Carlton Coon’s book Light in a Dark Place: Encountering Depression, and I wanted to share some important points with you from Encountering Depression that may help you or someone you love learn how to navigate depression.

1. There is significance in variety.

As I stated in the intro of this post, depression affects us all to different degrees. Reverend Coon references everything from mild seasons of depression or grief to Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), which we used to call clinical depression (Coon 21). Below are some examples of the common ways depression affects people:

Increased isolation
Disinterest in normal activities
No appetite
Brain fog
Increased tiredness
Decreased sense of self-worth
Anger
Suicidal thoughts

There are many more ways depression can affect a person’s mood or lifestyle, but the variance in how we experience depression is significant. We in the community of people who want to increase awareness of mental health issues and help others understand them may forget that there are people out there who still dismiss mental illness and believe depression to be a figment of the imagination. Those who have experienced depression or have a loved one or friend who has know otherwise.

No two people are exactly alike in every conceivable way, and depression’s different effects on us are proof of that. You may become angry and lash out at others when suffering from depression, but someone else might feel intensely sad or simply numb. These different experiences further prove that mental health and mental health issues need to be discussed all the more so that everyone can recognize whether they or someone they know is experiencing a serious mental health problem and find healthy solutions to get through it. The differences in how depression affects everyone who suffers from it do not take away from the seriousness of this disease but instead show that no person’s experience with depression should be dismissed or belittled.

2. There is healing in simplicity.

Just as there is variety in how depression grips each person who experiences it, there is also variety in how a person should respond to and navigate this difficult season. In Encountering Depression, Reverend Coon emphasizes balance and simplicity. If a person is emotionally balanced, then depression is less likely to overwhelm them (Coon 62). Too much on one’s plate is often a recipe for becoming overwhelmed, which is why simplifying one’s routine may prove beneficial. As Coon states, dealing with too much “leads to exhaustion, which is a fertile field in which depression often takes root” (Coon 82).

Consider the following tips for simplifying your routine and engaging in activities that may help you navigate depression:

Remove yourself from non-essential projects and activities.
Get yourself outside and go for nature walks.
Take a break from social media.
Set a simple daily routine.
Take time to rest.

There is a reason we need rest so much. As imperfect humans, our minds and bodies can only take so much before we become weary. An overloaded mind and body often results in burnout and feeds depression. We must take time regularly to unplug, get outside, remove ourselves from activities that may be weighing us down, and give ourselves time to breathe, pray, and repeat.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.“
Matthew 11:28 KJV

Just breathe. Just pray. Rest. Read the Word. And repeat the process.

And we know that getting through a season of depression is a p r o c e s s. But it is doable by learning how to understand what we’re experiencing and why, finding healthy ways to get through it, and finding rest and strength in God’s presence.

“To God, who divided dark from light, the darkness and light are both essential to His creation. Endure the darkness – in time the dawn will come.”
Reverend Carlton Coon, Light in a Dark Place: Encountering Depression

Reference:

Coon Sr., Carlton L. Light in a Dark Place: Encountering Depression. 2019.

BPR Update + Thought of the Day

Today, I will not be posting a regular blog post. Life has been busy this week, and I did not want to rush through a Bible study post just to have it posted by today. Have no fear, dear reader, for I will be posting a regular blog post next Friday. Because I love and appreciate all of you very much, I’ll go ahead and give you a sneak peek at next week’s topic: people’s reactions to sin. Yes, next week on BPR you’ll read a bit about my take on the reaction to sin among many Christians in society today and on how we should react to sin.

Now, I also wanted to share with you a brief thought in light of recent events in my family’s lives that may apply to many of you. Over the past couple of weeks, my family and I lost both my grandmother (my last surviving grandparent) and my uncle, and I know of many who have passed away this year or over the past year from the “vid” or other illnesses. Many people in the church are feeling a lot of pain and sadness right now. Brokenness and loss have visited many homes and afflicted many hearts.

I know that my family has felt the prayers of the church, and the peace of God and support from friends and our church family have helped alleviate a lot of the grief that comes with losing a loved one. I also know that when you’ve lost a loved one, the only one who can truly help you carry on and get through another day is, of course, our God.

He is the God of comfort, after all.

When my pastor spoke at my grandmother’s gravesite service, he said a few things I wanted to share with you that might comfort you or someone you know who has lost a loved one. He mentioned that many people say when someone passes away that we’ve lost them, but you can’t lose something when you know where it’s at. He also said, “We are not in the land of the living going to the land of the dying. We are in the land of the dying going to the land of the living.”

So many beloved children of God have traded their tents on earth for a mansion in Heaven and are now rejoicing on streets of gold before our King, free of pain and suffering and sorrow. They’ve finally made to where we are planning to spend eternity.

Recently, I was going through Psalms and stopped at chapter 34. I believe there are many verses in this chapter that offer a lot of comfort to those who are feeling grief, hurt, or brokenness, and so I wanted to leave you this week simply with this chapter to offer some encouragement:

I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble thereof, and be glad. O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him. The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing….The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. The face of the LORD is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Psalms 34:1-10, 15-19 (KJV)

“We are not in the land of the living going to the land of the dying. We are in the land of the dying going to the land of the living.”
Pastor Tony Wyatt

5 Scriptures for When You’re Hurting

When you’re in pain, sometimes there are no words that can adequately describe what you’re going through.

Whether it’s a physical pain or emotional pain, that feeling of hurt can reach so deeply that it stretches far past the limits of your vocabulary.

People may ask, “How are you feeling?”

And you don’t know what to say. You may not even be exactly sure how you feel.

But we have a Savior who knows our hurt better than anyone. We have a God who experienced physical and emotional pain and who understands grief, hurt, anger, and suffering. We have a Comforter whose words are the only ones that can stretch past the limits of our vocabulary, reach into the deepest trenches of our anguish, and ease the burden of pain and sadness.

If you’re struggling with hurt, here are five Scriptures from His Word that offer an encouraging perspective:

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”
Psalms 73:26 (KJV)

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
Psalms 147:3 (KJV)

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 (KJV)

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
Revelation 21:4 (KJV)

God is our strength when our heart fails and our body cannot carry us any further.

He is the Healer of our heart and the Mender of our brokenness.

We are blessed even in our mourning. For when we are in pain and sorrow, He comforts us.

When it’s too much for us to bear, we can surrender all our grief and despair to Him because our God truly cares for us. If it matters to us, it matters to the Master! He knows the pain we’re feeling even when we can’t put it into words or understand it ourselves.

And when our pain seems to overwhelm us, He reminds us of the promise that one day, our God Himself will wipe all tears of sorrow from our eyes, and we will no longer feel any more sadness, grief, or pain.

Just a little bit longer, and we’ll be with our King in eternal joy and freedom forever!

“There’ll be no sorrow there, no more burdens to bear, no more sickness, no more pain, no more parting over there; And forever I will be, with the One who died for me, what a day, glorious day that will be.”
“What a Day That Will Be” by Jim Hill

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Schedule Update: There will be no blog post this Friday.

If you’d like to read more about Scriptures on comfort, check out this post from my series on studying comfort in the Bible.

A Light in Darkness | Stories of Grief and Loss

Grief is something with which many of us are all too familiar. Although we may try to distract ourselves and pick up the pieces after a great loss, that grief we’ve tried to bury still lingers, waiting for some small moment or phrase to rush those painful memories back to the surface of our thoughts. How can we deal with our grief when it seems impossible to keep on living without all we have lost?

Today, you may find the answer to this question in this guest post below from the Pentecostal Publishing House blog. A version of this article was posted here.

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If you have experienced a loss of a loved one or a dear friend, allow A Light in Darkness: Stories of Grief and Loss to offer comfort. Reverend Scott Graham writes an introduction, saying “No one wants to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It is rocky. The footing is uneven. It is steep at times, and falls are not uncommon.” The valley of the shadow of death is an ugly passage that all must pass through when grieving loss.

Stories of Grief and Loss

Maybe you’ve lost a spouse, parent, child, or a dear friend, and you realize you lack strength to make it through the dark valley alone. It feels lonely and scary. What if someone who made the journey before you could help—someone who could share insights from their experiences, the lessons they’ve learned, and things that helped them cope? That’s what A Light in Darkness is all about.

You will hear from writers who have lost parents, a spouse, a friend, siblings, a child, and more. The same questions you may be wrestling and grappling with right now, these writers also wrestled with. Know this: it’s okay to question, closure comes gradually, and God hasn’t turned His back on you.

You will want to meet these writers and read their letters. They are addressed to you, dear friend.

If you know someone walking in the valley of the shadow of death, consider giving A Light in Darkness as a gift this Christmas. These stories of grief and loss will offer comfort and hope.

Resources and Links

A Light in Darkness